xX.Crash!xxItachi.Xx

[xX.dEiDaRa.Xx]

Bang! Kaboom! Crash!

Various sounds radiated clearly for all to hear inside the Hideout. Cave. Wherever the Akatsuki lived nowadays. The various sounds of things cracking, breaking and blowing up was not uncommon. More often than not, the cause was a certain blond pyromaniac. Today of all days, was like any other, where things broke, smashed, and, the most likely, blew up.

The certain blond pyromaniac in question was now cooped in his room, working on his 'art'. It was obvious that his 'art' irritated others, especially Sasori. But since when did he care? Never. Deidara's hands were working without stop, mouths eating it, shaping the clay, then finally detonating it. Unfortunately, various other things around his room were caught in the blast, none of which he gave a second thought to.

Sasori no Danna's going to li- thought Deidara, eyeing his finished sculpture. The reason he wasn't able to finish his sentence? He 'accidentally' blew it up. Not going to like this, un, he amended. The blond paid no mind the the damage done to the room, instead working on another sculpture. Sure, he would usually go outside when necessary, but he refused to get his long, blonde, perfect hair wet. Never ever.

[Uchiha Itachi]

All the banging, crashing and explosions could be heard in the Amekage tower, the Akatsuki leader was begging to grow impatient with the one named Deidara, so Itachi got off of his chair and moved to the room of Deidara, his crimson red eyes held a glare as he stood in the door way of the pyromaniac, he smirked as he said "Now Dei, why does a lady such as yourself need to do manly things like blow stuff up?" Itachi knew that Deidara was a man but he just chose to anger the bastard by callng him a woman. It was his amusement as he knew that he was the better shinobi out of the two.

Then he moved closer, placing his lips to the ears of Deidara, he simply asked "Women should leave explosions up to the males, don't you think lady Deidara?" A sadistic smirk formed upon Itachi's features as he waited for the reaction he was trying to get out of the blonde shinobi. And then he added "So lady Deidara, please stop what you are doing and follow me, I will show you what a woman should be doing with her free time." He chuckled as he mentioned such a statement, then he waited for the prick to follow him as he moved to walk out the door. He was going to take Deidara to a sewing class or even a class where women will learn how to cook and clean.

It was Itachi's way to play mind games with his annoying organization members. However, the other members were made to look foolish in other ways, Deidara looked like a woman, so he treated the blonde like one. And he loved the reactions he received by doing such things. He laughed as he stopped and waited for his feminine male to follow behind him. As he waited, he sighed, he was patient but the waiting game was bothersome as the longer he waited, the more he needed to put up with Deidara's bloody sculptures, so he scolded "Lady Deidara, come with me, NOW!!" This was the final order that Itachi was going to give to the one who he made look foolish by treating him as a woman. So as he waited, he began to perform the handsigns needed for the phoenix fire immortal jutsu. And then he added "And make sure you hurry as I do not have all day."

[xX.dEiDaRa.Xx]

The bangs and booms and Jashin-knows-what noises continued, while the oblivious blond worked on his artistic treasures. It worked pretty much in an order like: Chewing clay, making sculptures, then bang. It didn't occur to him that people outside the Hideout may be freaked out by the drastic noises. No, nothing was entering Deidara's head apart from his 'art'. That was, until a certain raven-haired Uchiha entered.

"Itachi...un?" He paused, mind processing something other than art in the last two hours. "Have you ever heard of knocking, hm?"

"Now Dei, why does a lady such as yourself need to do manly things like blow stuff up?"

The sentence, needless to say, pushed Deidara's buttons immediately. His only visible eye twitched continuously, while the maniacal grin faded slightly. "Excuse me, un? A lady?" Anyone within two feet of him could tell he was ticked off. The blond knew well that Itachi knew that he was a man. He must be purposefully trying to tick him off. Well, this was new for the stotic Uchiha. But it still ticked him off more than ever. Sure, if it was Sasori, he could stand it to a certain extent. If it was Tobi...well...to put it simply, he would get blown up. But Itachi? Deidara didn't know how to react.

"Women should leave explosions up to the males, don't you think lady Deidara?"

That was it. Itachi was getting what Deidara considered as severe punishment. "I. Am. A. Guy. Un," he said between gritted teeth, trying to stay calm. Although anyone who stayed around him for more than two seconds knew that 'staying calm' was not one of Deidara's strong points. Very soon, Itachi would 'get it.'

"So lady Deidara, please stop what you are doing and follow me, I will show you what a woman should be doing with her free time."

Deidara was now trying to mentally constrain himself to stop grabbing hold of Itachi's neck, plant ten explosives, shake him as hard as he could, run off and make the explosions explode. But he was going to crack very, very, very soon. "I'M A GUY! WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO UNDERSTAND!" He was so angry he even forgot his signature 'un'. Maybe he wasn't going to crack just yet.

"Lady Deidara, come with me, NOW!!"

That was the final straw. Deidara pounced on him, explosives in his hand as he tried desperately to plant them somewhere, anywhere on Itachi. He tackled the Uchiha, trying to do anything that would do damage. "ITACHI YOU BASTARD! I'M GONNA-" He was cut off as he noticed the hand signes for Hosenka no Jutsu. But Itachi wouldn't be able to do it at such close range.

[Uchiha Itachi]

At last minute, Itachi performed the hand seals for the shadow clone jutsu, and then he did the hand seals for the shadow clone explosion and once he had done so, he used substitution and replaced himself with Deidara's sculpture, then he performed the teleport jutsu and appeared inside Deidara's room and said "Now, Deidara, how does it feel to be nothing but a lap dog?"

Itachi chuckled and performed the hand seals for the phoenix fire immortal and smirked as he performed the jutsu upon Deidara, merely to make him dance and then he stated "Ladies should be good dancers, so dance for me miss Deidara." With this statement, he had a field day as he wathed Deidara, then he scolded "Now attacking me, is not very lady-like Dei-Dei. Is it?" Itachi laughed as he had this blonde bimbo's attention, he looked to the shadow clones and watched them explode, he was counting on making Deidara pay for her, oops I mean his sins.

Then Itachi moved closer, he placed his lips next to Deidara's ear and whispered "You thought you could hide your little secret from me, lady Dei-Dei?" Itachi knew about Hinata, the way he found out was with the eternal Mangekyou Sharingan, the reason he had not yet acted, was because he was going to give Deidara a task, the task was to turn Hinata into a secret member of the Akatsuki, thus being able to keep tabs on the nine tailed jinchuuriki. So Itachi asked "So tell me Dei-dei, how is your precious Hinata? Is she worthy enough to be apart of my organization?" A smirk formed upon Itachi's features as he waited for Deidara's reply, his eyes glanced upon the form of his bitter annoyance of a member but his eyes were as cold as the tone in his vocal cords.

[xX.dEiDaRa.Xx]

Man was he pissed. He had never been so angry at anyone ever since that masked idiot Tobi dared to pick up one of his arms and piss him off three times. Itachi usually was the silent member of their group, along with Sasori. It was a big feat to tick Deidara off like this. If he was annoying someone else, like Hidan, hell, the blond would even congratulate him. But this situation was not to his liking at all.

"Now, Deidara, how does it feel to be nothing but a lap dog?"

Deidara let go of the fake Itachi and turned to the real one, resisting the urge to just throw one hundred birds at him he had made during the last two hours or so. He had been saving them for a final explosion, hopefully rocketting the base sky high, but using it on Itachi was good enough. At least the Uchiha had dropped the 'lady' thing. That was one thing that might be a better change to the current situation. "Shut up un," he growled.

"Ladies should be good dancers, so dance for me miss Deidara."

Deidara ducked behind a chair at the Phoenix Fire. The place was too cramped for his liking. But the 'lady or miss' was back, and that made him forget that they were in his room ruining his things. "SHUT UP!" he screamed again, throwing two birds right at him. He didn't care if he was thrown out of Akatsuki. He never wanted to be in here in the first place. It would probably be better if Itachi threw him out.

"Now attacking me, is not very lady-like Dei-Dei. Is it?"

Deidara was next to throwing a tantrum. He thought of tackling Itachi again, but the blond calmed down enough to realize that wasn't the best idea for the situation. "That's because I'm not a girl, un," he replied confidently, significantly calmer than he had been a few seconds ago. If Itachi wanted a fight, he would give him one.

""You thought you could hide your little secret from me, lady Dei-Dei? So tell me Dei-dei, how is your precious Hinata? Is she worthy enough to be apart of my organization?"

Deidara stiffened as the Uchiha moved closer. That was the second time in two minutes that had happened. This was his personal space, and the blond didn't take kindly that it had been invaded by Itachi, leader of Akatsuki or not. Nobody had the right to talk to him like that. Except for Sasori, not even Sasori.

How had he known about Hinata? Oh yeah...stupid Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan. Itachi was obviously going to torture the blond after all. He stiffened even more at the second sentence. He...wants her to join Akatsuki...un? Deidara was shocked. He had never known that Itachi would recruit her. "What? Are you going to recruit her, hmm?" he sneered at the Sharingan user.