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Post by xX.dEiDaRa.Xx on Jun 20, 2008 23:26:58 GMT -5
Okay, I know I posted this on CinW (Change in the Wind) but I thought I'd post it here too, because not everyone here goes there as well ^^ This is my first fanfiction, so be nice. And plz comment. I'm not forcing you or anything, but its quite easy. Type a few sentences and then click the button! ;] Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the Akatsuki or...anything else except for my book *hugs book* Oh, and I've put random food in like lollipop to replace Hidan's swear words... *big breath* _______________________________ “What sort of lollipop vacation is this?” Hidan growled, staring through the window at the stormy clouds. The sea tossed and turned, foaming under them as the ship swayed treacherously. It looked like a storm was likely to break at any moment as the thunder roared overhead and lightning flashed. Kakuzu, holding a handful of money, had to agree with his partner for the first time in living memory. “Yeah, it’s such a waste of time,” he muttered, before returning his attention to worthier things, such as counting money. “That lollipop Kisame. Why did he have to drag us out here?” Hidan cursed, stroking his scythe. Kakuzu rolled his eyes as Hidan interrupted his money counting. “Hidan, will you shut up already? Kisame didn’t waste any money and I’m not complaining!” This time it was Hidan’s turn to roll his eyes. “Oh, and now you trust the lollipop candy?” he snarled. “How do we know he didn’t use any money?” Kakuzu looked up in horror. He hadn’t thought of that. “Wait…” he said slowly, trying to get it straight. “You mean Kisame could have lied and spent money anyway?” His eyes widened as if he had just seen Sasuke hugging Itachi. “Kisame wouldn’t do that,” interrupted a pleasant, yet surprising voice. Konan had overheard their conversation and decided to drop in before Kakuzu and Hidan bit Kisame’s head off. “How do you know what the lollipop wouldn’t do?” Hidan seethed with rage. What he wouldn’t do to Kisame when he found him… “Because he said so.” Another quiet voice had slipped into the conversation, defending Konan and Kisame. The voice belonged to no other than the Akasuna no Sasori. Hidan let out a stream of colourful words, seeing as nobody would take his side. Sasori, however, had also gone back to doing what he considered ‘most important’. Right now, what was ‘most important’ to him was arguing with a certain blonde. “When will you understand, Sasori no Danna, art is fleeting un!” yelled our favourite Deidara, frustrated that Sasori still disagreed with his point of view. It didn’t occur to him that they had had this conversation argument the fifty-eighth time this week. “Art is not fleeting, Deidara. It. Is. Eternal!” Sasori, too, was feeling his patience slip away as he tried to knock the information through his partner’s thick skull. “Danna! You don’t understand art at all un! It is…” At that precise moment, everyone currently in the room dropped their attention from the arguing pair. “How exactly did Kisame persuade us to come again?” Kakuzu asked carefully, still on the topic of whether or not Kisame was lying to them. “Don’t you remember Kakuzu?” Konan asked gently. Flashback “Hey guys!” Kisame slammed the door open, dashing into the living room of the Akatsuki base where the most feared S ranked criminals lived. “Guess what?”
“What?” asked Sasori dejectedly, trying to fix his puppet Hiruko after that pink haired girl and his grandmother smashed it to pieces
“I got us tickets!” Kisame yelled joyfully, brandishing the so called tickets in the air above his head, as far as his hand would reach up to.
Itachi resisted rolling his eyes. After all, Uchiha prodigies don’t roll their eyes at their partner’s statement. Instead, he said with the air of dignity only an Uchiha should have, “Not Seaworld again, Kisame. We went there five times last year, remember?
Kisame shook his head, apparently blazing with excitement. “No no, Itachi-san, this time I got us tickets for a vacation! On a cruise trip!” He was obviously very pleased with himself.
Kakuzu looked up suspiciously. “And how much money did they cost exactly?”
Kisame grinned. Not your usual grin. A wide, sharky grin. “None at all, ‘your majesty’,” he said, with a hint of sarcasm at ‘your majesty’. I found them on the streets! They were giving it away! For free! Look, I got one for each of us!”
Halfway through making one of his many clay statues, Deidara looked up from his handiwork. “Woot!” he shouted, throwing his carefully made statues in the air, before catching them gently when he realized the full impact of Kisame’s words. “Where are we going exactly, un?”
Kisame shrugged. “Who cares? It’s a cruise trip! Let’s go Leader!”
Pein, the Leader of Akatsuki, slapped his hand onto his head. He remembered what happened last time they went on one of Kisame’s trips…
End Flashback [/center][/u] “What happened before that?” asked Kakuzu warily. Apparantly, old age was catching up to him. Konan sighed, shaking her head. “Please, no more flashbacks!” ___________________________ There's chapter one, please tell me what you think about it^^ Thanks ... oh and I would really appreciate it if someone gave me ideas about the title
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Post by Sabaku no Gaara & Kenji Uchiha on Jun 21, 2008 14:33:19 GMT -5
Nice Job I love the sea world thing , very funny. Because they do have sharks there , and im sure Kisame would love to visit his momma. Lol keep up and comdey and i certibly keep reading it. Title Title hmmmm Akatsuki Cruse , Red Moon Curise of Doom, sharky Screw up, Red Dawn Triped, <thats what i came up with for titles.
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Post by xX.dEiDaRa.Xx on Jun 21, 2008 17:46:43 GMT -5
Thanks ^^ Yeah it would be paradise for Kisame ;] THat's some pretty good titles! Red Moon Cruise of Doom XDD. If you want, I'll upload chapter two as soon as I write it ...?
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Post by xX~Kinky~Xx on Jun 22, 2008 11:58:00 GMT -5
HaHa I love this! You gotta copy the next chapter over!!!!
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Post by Sabaku no Gaara & Kenji Uchiha on Jun 22, 2008 13:32:09 GMT -5
yeah thats be great id love to see want happens next . keep the chapter come en
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Post by xX.dEiDaRa.Xx on Jun 23, 2008 6:25:03 GMT -5
Okay then ^^ Here it is! And the same things apply in the first also apply here ;] ------------------------
They had been travelling for days now. The Akatsuki members found themselves easily swaying to the motion of the ship and the deck. It was relaxing, and no different than the day to day life goings at the Hideout. Well...maybe slightly different. Itachi, for one, had to rush over to the railings and throw up every few minutes on the first day or so. But gradually, he, along with everyone else, got used to the cruise.
“I told you it was a good idea!” Kisame was saying to Sasori under the deck of the ship.
Sasori stared back with his usual emotionless face. “Yes. It would have been a great idea if it weren’t raining like hell outside!” he snapped. The puppet master was in a bad mood, but then again, he was almost always in a bad mood. He hadn’t been allowed to take any of his beloved puppets with him on this journey. Not even Hiruko! Imagine Sasori’s anger when he found out. And sure enough, rain poured down in thousands of kilolitres outside, smashing into the deck with the sound of splintering wood. Sasori winced at every sound, as they reminded him even more of his puppets.
Kisame half-heartedly shrugged, and was about to open his mouth to reply until they were interrupted by a certain green plant thingy.
“Is there any food left?” Zetsu grumbled, waddling into the room. Without any enemy humans to eat, he had to continually starve for the two weeks. And like Sasori, he wasn’t very happy about that.
“Erm...” Kisame looked guiltily towards the fridge, with had mercifully been placed on board. “I think Itachi ate the last of our dango...”
“That wasn’t what I was talking about. Don’t we have any more fresh corpses?” Zetsu’s black side growled.
Now Kisame looked uncomfortable, and under the very likely assumption that, if Zetsu went hungry, the first one he would choose on the menu was the shark. “Well, they stank so bad we didn’t bring any,” he explained carefully.
“I didn’t smell anything,” Sasori contradicted, looking back and forth between the two.
“Yeah, that’s ‘cause you’re a puppet Danna un.” Unnoticed by any of them, Deidara had snuck in as well, along with Hidan and Kakuzu, all wearing trunks.
“We’re going swimming,” Kakuzu explained at the raised eyebrows. “Leader didn’t want to come because he had ‘work’ to do, and Konan’s afraid of water.”
“And the cookie candies forced me to come,” Hidan cut in.
“We’re not-“ Deidara began angrily, but Kakuzu shut him up. “Ignore that git...let’s get going.
“I’m going too!” Kisame yelled, changing from the Akatsuki uniform to trunks within seconds.
Deidara looked questioningly at his Danna.
Sasori shook his head, seeing Deidara’s unasked question, meaning automatic no.
“Aww...come on Danna, it’s fun swimming un!”
Sasori’s eyes momentarily flashed with anger. “I’m a puppet brat, did you forget?”
“Oh yeah un...”
“Let’s go already!” Kisame half screamed half yelled. He seemed to be the one most eager to go out of the group.
“Going where?” Came a familiar calm voice below them.
“Oh great, another cookie interruption,” Hidan muttered.
Kisame looked like he was going to faint. “I...Itachi-san...we...we’re just g...going swi...swimming.” All of a sudden, he sounded like Hinata.
Itachi, however, didn’t notice. Or maybe he did notice, but just didn’t comment on it. “Whatever. Just go.” ((A/N: I just had to add Itachi in there ^^))
Gratefully, Kisame, Deidara, Hidan and Kakuzu made their way outside, in the blinding rain and flashing lightning and booming thunder and who knows what else?
“I suddenly don’t feel like swimming any more, un,” Deidara said fearfully, staring into the foaming waters seething with rage, even more than Kakuzu when Hidan stole his money and they ran around the base chasing and hiding from each other.
“Aww, come on Dei,” Kisame patted him on the shoulder. “Like you said, it’ll be fun!”
The force of the ‘pat’, as Kisame called it, sent Deidara flying headfirst into the water. He didn’t resurface for several seconds, which turned to minutes.
“Erm...should someone go check on him?” Kakuzu asked, allowing the slightest trace of worry entering his voice. He didn’t care much about that kid, but he knew they would probably have to pay money if he drowned.
“Why go check on that ice-cream?” Hidan asked, rolling his eyes.
But Kisame seemed to have accepted Kakuzu’s idea quite cheerfully. “Okay, I’ll go!” he said brightly, diving in professionally. He didn’t resurface for several minutes either.
“Should we go help him?” Kakuzu asked again, this time to Hidan.
“No way cookie!” Hidan roared. “I’m not risking my life for those two lollipops!”
Meanwhile, Kisame had felt the cool water contact his skin, and immediately entered heaven. This underwater world was where his mother lived. How he wished he did the same...Suddenly, he remembered his real mission. Rescuing Deidara. His eyes scanned the seabed, before spotting the blonde lying on some rocks, looking very lifeless indeed. Fish had already swam up to him and were probably considering eating him.
“Is it dead?” One fish, by the name of Nemo, asked cautiously.
“Is what dead? I don’t see- AHHHHHH SHARK!!!!!” A blue finned fish, Dory, yelled. The fish scattered immediately as Kisame swam by.
“I’m not a shark you fidiots!! ((A/N: Fish + Idiots = Fidiots ^^)) Kisame yelled at them. “I’m just here to rescue my fellow Akatsuki member,” he added, grabbing Deidara and making his way up.
“What’s an...Aca...suli?” asked Nemo.
“None of your business!” Kisame bellowed, resurfacing and waving to Hidan and Kakuzu, with a now unconscious Deidara in his arms.
---The 15 minutes where the two haul the other two onto the deck---
“Oh good, they survived,” Kakuzu said, unconsciously running a hand through his hair.
“Pfft,” Hidan was tempted to roll his eyes again. “Deidara looks dead to me.”
Kakuzu rubbed his eyes and peered at Deidara’s face closer. “Oh no! He’s dead! Now we’ll have to pay for his funeral!” he yelled to the sky.
“Oops...”
-------------
Hehehe hope you enjoyed it ^^ And yes, this story is going somewhere and will get there...eventually ;]
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Post by xX~Kinky~Xx on Jun 23, 2008 6:55:33 GMT -5
love it!!!!
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Post by Sabaku no Gaara & Kenji Uchiha on Jun 23, 2008 14:16:25 GMT -5
hah ha love it. i lobe part of itachi throwing up over the side of the boat
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Post by xX.dEiDaRa.Xx on Jun 24, 2008 2:35:15 GMT -5
lol yeah...I mean, who else could I make sea-sick? ^^ Chapter 3 --------------------- Kakuzu rubbed his eyes and peered at Deidara’s face closer. “Oh no! He’s dead! Now we’ll have to pay for his funeral!” he yelled to the sky.
“Oops...”
Hidan rolled his eyes at Kakuzu, then shifted them to the blonde member of their organization. He had never really had much to do with Deidara, but they were part of the same group right?
Kisame was poking the deck of the ship as it swayed gently from side to side, the rain falling harder than ever. For some reason, he couldn’t make himself look at Deidara’s face.
Kakuzu, the only one staring full on at Deidara and still wondering how much his funeral would cost, was the only one who thought something was...well...different.
Suddenly, a cackle of mad laughter broke the once serene silence. The three looked from each other, to the ship, then back to each other. Nope. Nobody they knew of was laughing.
Unless...
Have a guess! The laughter was coming from none other than...
Deidara!
The supposedly ‘dead’ blonde was now sitting up, splitting his sides with the weirdest, loudest, did I mention weird? laugh anyone could have ever laughed. Actually, it was more like a cackle. Unfortunately for him, the other three didn’t find the situation quite as funny.
“WHAT THE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD YOU CANDY CANE LOLLIPOP!”
Deidara controlled himself just enough not to laugh for the few seconds while he answered Hidan’s outburst. “You...should...have...seen the...look...on...your...faces!” He gasped in between spasms of laughter. “I could have put it on Deviantart un!”
“So...you’re not dead?” Kisame asked bewildered, peering at the blonde closely as if missing something. Suddenly, he hated himself for feeling guilty.
Before he could answer, a certain orange masked man ran onto the deck at just about 220 km/h. The ‘certain orange masked man’ tackled Deidara, sending both of them spinning into the ocean for the second time.
“What the hell Tobi un?” Deidara shrieked, like Gaara when he had his teddy bear torn away (A/N: Not sure if that happened ^^), just before he plummeted into the ocean.
“Tobi is a good boy! Tobi bet five dollars with Zetsu-san that Sempai was alive!” Tobi yelled joyfully before his head sank under.
“WHAT?” came a yell from the ship deck. Apparently, Kakuzu had overheard that. “Tobi, if you’re a good boy, give that 5 dollars to me!” he added, eyes sparkling at the thought of free money. Yes. The free part was very important.
“Yes Kakuzu-san, because Tobi is a good boy,” Tobi smiled brightly, still clinging onto his beloved Sempai.
“Help...can’t...breathe!” Deidara gasped as the two floated further from the boat.
“We’re not falling for it this time you chocolate cookie!” Roared Hidan.
“d**n un...”
As sudden as it came, the ship all the Akatsuki members had been previously standing on came to an abrupt halt. Then, slowly but surely, the ship began to sink...inch by inch into the deep dark sharky depths.
Silence.
“WHAT THE SUGAR CAKES?” Hidan screeched. He had wasted precious moments making sense of what was happening.
Kakuzu had the sense to look around and see what they had hit. Sure enough...
”ICE-BURG!!!”
“ICE-BURG UN!!!”
Tobi and Deidara had spotted it from their position in the water. “Jump un!” Deidara yelled encouragingly.
“No way!” Kakuzu snapped immediately. “I need to rescue my precious money!” With that, he vanished back into the ship.
Kisame, however, found the invitation to jump into the beloved depth quite promising. “Bombs away!” he yelled, catapulting himself into the water and post likely doing a bellyflop.
At exactly the same time, Itachi, Zetsu, Sasori, Konan and Pein, the members who hadn’t come swimming, rushed out on deck.
“What happened?” Itachi asked, apparently not wearing contacts.
“The ship hit an ice-burg and started sinking,” said Sasori matter-of-factly, and very bluntly.
“What do we do?” Konan posed the question they were all thinking. It surprised everyone else that they could think of the situation so calmly.
“RUN!” Kakuzu suddenly burst out from the ship, carrying three suitcases of his money. “It’s going to sink any moment!”
Without hesitation, the remaining members all jumped, except Konan had jumped onto a paper bird instead.
Kakuzu, Hidan, Pein, Zetsu, Sasori and Itachi hit the water with a SPLAT! Well...Sasori hit the water with a CLUNK, but that’s off the point.
“Wish I’d thought of that un,” said Deidara wistfully, looking up at Konan.
“There’s still time, idiot,” Sasori commented, slightly amused, as everyone else watched the ship sink before their eyes.
“Oh yeah un.” Acting quickly, Deidara made a clay bird, and in no time, was in the air.
“d**n...wish he took me with him...” Hidan grumbled.
“Moneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoney,” Kakuzu looked like a lunatic.
“Hey guys!” Konan yelled from above. “I think I see an island!”
Deidara used his scope to zoom in on the thing Konan was pointing at. “Yeah, it is an island un! But it seems to be deserted...”
“Who cares?” Pein hollered joyfully. “It’s land! Let’s go!”
And together, they made their way towards the island as the sun shone behind them.
(A/N: *coughs loudly* That’s not exactly what happened...)
Well, for one, Deidara, Konan and Kisame were all trying to race to the island; two flying and one swimming. So far, Deidara was winning. You had to take in account all the rain and that Kisame stopped to chat to fish.
Kakuzu was being dragged down by his money suitcases, and there didn’t seem to be any chance of him letting them go.
Pein was hoarding all of his bodies forward, and they worked together to create some sort of human bridge where two bodies would lie flat on the water and the others step over them, then repeat the process.
Tobi was dog-paddling after Deidara, but he didn’t seem to be getting anywhere either, since Hidan was kind of using him as a log to float on.
Zetsu was flailing around in the water, looking like he was doing some kind of dance where you made up half the moves on the spot.
Sasori was lying on his back, floating like any puppet should and looking up at the clouds. If someone took a picture of him right now and removed the face, hair and clothing, they could easily mistake him for Shikamaru. But then again, think on Sasori’s behalf. He was a puppet, after all, what else could he do?
And Itachi? Itachi had probably been the most sensible out of all. He was using his Chakra to stand on the water, but...was walking in the complete wrong direction that Konan had pointed. He was legally blind. ------------------
That's done ;]
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Post by xX.dEiDaRa.Xx on Jun 25, 2008 2:18:42 GMT -5
And chapter four ;] I don't need to repeat myself right? And did I mention Zetsu's black side was in bold?
--------
It took several hours for everyone to haul themselves onto the island. Deidara, Kisame and Konan’s race had finally finished, and they passed the finish line, AKA landed on the island in that order.
Tobi and Hidan got there eventually, while having to drag Sasori who just floated around with a dazed expression on his face. Probably from shock.
Pein had to go back and direct Itachi towards the correct direction, pull the flailing Zetsu out of the water and lift all of Kakuzu’s money suitcases for him. Why? Because nobody else wanted to do it.
“Well, we’re all here, the storm had gone, and we should be fine!” Pein said, brushing sand off his precious Akatsuki robe and trying to make the best of the situation.
“Fine lolly nothing,” Hidan grumbled. “We’re stuck on the candy island with no cookie food and no cake way away from here.”
Sasori, Itachi and Konan were still acting in a dignified manner. Well...it was hard for the Uchiha since he was partially blind, but he just managed it all the same.
Deidara, Tobi and Zetsu were running around and screaming on the sand, sounding like pigs being butchered, while Kisame watched.
“I highly doubt that’s going to attract attention,” an amused Kisame pointed out.
“Tobi is a good boy! Sempai said Tobi would get a clay sculpture if Tobi ran around in the sand with him,” the self-proclaimed good boy shouted proudly.
“Yeah, exploded on you un,” the said Sempai muttered, careful not to let Tobi hear.
“Aww, come on Deidara, that’s not nice,” Zetsu’s white side had overheard him. “Yeah, imagine if we did that to you,” His black side poked himself suspiciously. Since when had both sides of Zetsu agreed with themselves?
Deidara either didn’t hear, or pretended not to hear as the three of them continued what they had been doing.
Kakuzu was counting his money, as usual, making sure not a single penny had been lost to the ocean. But suddenly...”I’M MISSING FIVE DOLLARS!!!” Kakuzu hollered at the top of his lungs.
Everyone previously engaged in activities turned to face him, except Itachi looked the other way.
“Oh come on Kakuzu, its only five dollars,” Konan snapped half-way through drying herself.
“Yeah Kakuzu. Besides, it’s not like money’s gonna help us in this situation un!” Deidara pointed out.
“You know how the lolly cookie is with money.” Hidan had turned his attention back to the argument with Pein.
“If it really bothers you that much, I’ll steal five bucks for you when we get back,” Kisame offered helpfully.
“When we get back,” Zetsu repeated. “Are we ever going to get back?”
“Of course we are!” Pein snapped, annoyed that his subordinates didn’t believe in their leader.
Sasori, who had so far said nothing, sighed. “So hurry up and invent some weird jutsu to take us back. You know I don’t like to be kept waiting.”
“You?” Hidan asked incredulously. “I’ve got my cookie sacrifices to Jashin!”
“I need to wash and arrange my hair un! Its filthy! Look at it!” Everyone looked at Deidara, except Itachi looked at Hidan instead. His eyesight was really failing him.
“There’s no difference,” Sasori pointed out, bewildered like everyone else.
“No difference!?!?!?” Deidara shrieked. “LOOK AT IT!” He held his hair up, and finally everyone except for Itachi saw it. The tiniest speck of brown against the blonde. “See it now?” he screeched.
“Deidara, it’s just a speck of dirt,” Kakuzu said patiently. “It’s nowhere near as important as money.”
“Nowhere near...?” Deidara howled.
Luckily for the readers, Pein, Konan and Sasori broke them up before they could drag this on for hours, and totally mess the island up.
“So what do we do?” Itachi had finally asked the question everyone was thinking.
“I’m going to invent my ‘weird jutsu to take us back’, Sasori,” Pein shot at him and stomped off, tripping in the sand and cursing. Hidan giggled behind his back, and was ignored by everyone.
Sasori merely shrugged. “Just hurry up.”
“SO WHAT DO WE DO?” Deidara yelled in frustration, not at all glad that they had side-tracked from the original purpose.
“Tobi is a good boy. Tobi thinks this is just like vacation,” Tobi bounced into their ‘meeting’ thing.
Everyone except for Zetsu (who actually tolerated Tobi) and Pein (who had gone to invent some weird jutsu) and Kisame(who liked the idea) rolled their eyes.
“Why not guys? Just treat it like a vacation, like Tobi said.” Kisame patted Tobi’s head fondly.
“Vacation? We have no food, no shelter and no means to get back. You expect us to enjoy ourselves?” Konan said coldly. She was already annoyed at becoming wet, and now had to spend who knows how long with these bunch of idiots.
“Erm...yes?”
“THAT’S IT!” Konan stomped off, in a very similar fashion to Pein. Maybe she was his puppet or something...
“Bye!” Deidara yelled cheerfully, waving at her retreating form.
“So what the pineapple do we do now?” Hidan repeated the question for the third time.
“Sit back and relax.”
Huh?
Everyone looked around, wondering who said that. All eyes turned to Kisame first, but he shook his head. Deidara? Nope. The blonde mimicked the action. Kakuzu? No. He was too busy counting money. Tobi? He was currently miles away, hyperactive on seawater. Who would have guessed...?
That only left Zetsu, Sasori, Hidan and Itachi, the unlikeliest people.
“Is it so hard to figure it out? I said it you idiots!”
Eyes turned to Hidan, Zetsu and to Sasori. The puppetmaster rolled his eyes.
“Duh!”
“Did...did you just say ‘sit back and relax’ Danna un?” A wide-eyed Deidara asked tentatively.
“Do you understand Japanese?”
“We’re speaking French,” Zetsu whispered frantically into Sasori’s ear. “No...Italian!” “French!” “Italian!”
“Oh...do you understand French...or Italian?
“I thought we were speaking Portuguese,” Tobi popped out of nowhere.
“Spanish,” Itachi put in.
“YOU IDIOTS! WE’RE SPEAKING ENGLISH!” Pein’s voice roared from somewhere beyond the stage.
“Oh...”
Everyone shut up.
------- Yeah...well please tell me if you liked it ^^
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Post by Sabaku no Gaara & Kenji Uchiha on Jun 26, 2008 14:51:53 GMT -5
omg love it . its so funny
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Post by .shikamaru_ on Jun 28, 2008 2:43:53 GMT -5
*cheeky grin* Chapter 5
Did I mention Hidan's swear words are now going to be underlined? -------------------------------
KABOOM!
A sudden noise startled all the Akatsuki members, disrupting the silence that had before been so serene. Automatically, everyone except for Itachi, who looked at Zetsu, looked towards Deidara, who looked horrified at the menacing people. Especially Sasori.
“I didn’t do it un!” he yelled frantically, correctly assuming that they all suspected him.
“You didn’t?” Sasori blinked. That was just about the first time it wasn’t Deidara who had caused the explosion.
Deidara shook his head. “No…it came from over there!” He pointed inland, where, sure enough, a large puff of smoke shaped suspiciously like a mushroom was forming.
Itachi waded into the sea, while everyone else hurried to the sound of the disruption. There they found a disgruntled Pein covered in a handful of ash.
“Um…leader…did one of your experiments fail again?” Kisame asked tentatively. Last time someone said that, they couldn’t walk for a week.
“No,” Pein snapped, although it was perfectly true. No Akatsuki leader would want to admit that their experiment had gone off in disaster. “It was supposed to happen.”
“Ahh…it was a work of art un!”
“You idiot! Art isn’t like that! It’s eternal!” came the angry remark from the redhead. There goes the seventy-ninth time this week Deidara and Sasori had argued about art.
“What? I thought we already settled this un! It’s-“
“SHUT UP!” Kakuzu yelled, effecting silencing both of them.
The silence stretched…
…and stretched…
…and stretched…
Until… “SOMEONE SHUT THE SHERBERT SILENCE UP!”
--
Two hours later sought the Akatsuki bored, with nothing to do. Deidara hadn’t managed to bring any clay with him, and now sat, slouched, on guard duty in a tree. Kakuzu was counting his money for the 429th time today. Kisame and Tobi were using Hidan’s head as a football to play various sports, while Hidan’s mouth let go a stream of curses. Zetsu was busy befriending the many plants the island had to offer, while apparently under the assumption that they could talk back. Sasori was polishing himself, seeing as he didn’t have any puppets to polish anyway. Itachi was still in the ocean, groping around for any source of the explosion two hours ago. Konan was folding paper, as usual and Pein was inventing his gone wrong weird new jutsu.
But finally, everyone was bored. And to make matters worse, their food supply was running out.
“Someone should go catch more fish,” Konan complained, folding her 683rd paper crane.
“That would be Itachi.” Kisame pointed to him in the water, an amused expression on his face. “But he doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere...”
There was a dull thump as Deidara landed in the sand underneath the lookout tree. By now, nobody paid any attention to him since his fake death that had looked so real. The blonde scowled as he took in that fact. “I’m hungry un!” he whinned.
“Oh shut up you pineapple,” Hidan’s detatched head snarled as it was kicked repetitively.
“Surely you can survive without food for a few days, right?” Sasori asked without even looking up.
“Easy for you to say, lollipop, you don’t eat,” Hidan’s head growled again.
“Nor do you,” Sasori said calmly.
“Oh yeah...”
“SO WHAT DO WE DO?” Kakuzu screeched. A sense of Déjà Vu filled the Akatsuki. The silence was broken by a familiar voice a few metres away.
“Tobi found a coconut.”
Everyone’s attention, except for Itachi’s and Pein’s, turned to Tobi, who was happily sucking on a coconut under a coconut tree.
One second passed.
Two seconds passed.
“AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!” Most of the members dived at the coconut tree at exactly the same time, screaming their battle cry.
“Ooo!”
“Ow!”
“Geroff me!”
Give me one un!”
After a long and furious battle of the Akatsuki members, which mainly consisted of biting, scratching, tearing, pulling and snarling, everyone lay in a tangled heap underneath the tree.
Calmly, Konan walked up the tree with her chakra, and picked a coconut off lightly. The ‘warriors’ of the fight, Kakuzu, Deidara, Kisame and Hidan (who still wanted to eat) all lay unconscious.
“Ladies first,” Konan said smugly, walking back to her place in the shade.
“I FOUND THE JUTSU! WE’RE GOING TO GET BACK AFTER ALL!” Yelled a familiar voice.
Everyone unconscious before woke up. And did nothing.
“Duh!” Sasori sighed, bored, walking past the group and heading towards Pein’s voice. “Idiots.”
Hurriedly, the rest of the group followed, with Kisame having to swim out and drag Itachi back (who had at this point, believe it or not, hypnotised two fish with Tsukiyomi).
Soon enough, everyone arrived to see Pein building some giant statue thingy.
“That’s not a jutsu,” Itachi said slowly, activating his Sharingan just in case, which, I’m afraid to say, no longer works since he’s officially blind. “It looks more like a huge cat...”
“D...don’t take it from him, Leader,” Kisame said rather hurriedly, not wanting to face the punishment with his partner. They faced the punishment in two’s. “You know he’s blind.”
“I am not blind.” Itachi’s voice was calm, yet cold with a sense of power. Yet the power was somewhat diminished as he reached across and slapped Kakuzu on the face.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“Shut up. You are weak. Why are you weak? Because you lack...cookies. Mhhmmmm...cookies...” Itachi seemed lost in a weird daydream about cookies.
“Uh...” Everyone sweatdropped.
“Back on topic,” Sasori interrupted. “Are you sure this is a jutsu to take us back?”
“Yeah un. You should have let me done the sculpting, hmm!”
“It looks like a giant pineapple,” Zetsu’s white side commented.
“No! It looks more like a huge horse!”
“Pineapple!”
“Horse!”
“Pineapple!”
“Horse!”
“SILENCE!!!!!!!!!!”
Silence.
“So how does this...jutsu...take us back?” Konan asked tentatively.
“Well you see, this butterfly-“
“It’s a sherbet butterfly?” Hidan interrupted.
“Shut up! Do not interrupt me!”
Silence once more.
“Well, as I was saying before Hidan rudely interrupted me, this butterfly will come to life in five seconds.”
Hidan rolled his eyes.
“Five...” Everyone watched the badly made sculpture tentatively.
“...Four...” Everyone tensed.
“...Three...” Deidara contemplated blowing it up just for fun and to see the look on Pein’s face, but decided against it.
“...Two...” Kakuzu considered selling it for money, but, although heavily tempted, also decided against it.
“...One...” Everyone thought about running away now.
“It comes to life...NOW!”
...
Nothing happened.
The silence grew, from seconds to minutes.
Then, everything began at once.
“Well that lollipop sucks!” Hidan screeched at the top of his voice, while various other swear words tumbled out of his mouth.
Itachi blinked. He was sure the statue had moved for a moment, but nobody else seemed to have seen it, so the raven-haired Uchiha dismissed it as either an illusion or nothing.
“Leader!!! I am going to kill *cough* I mean...help you with your sculpture next time un!”
“Tobi is a good boy!”
“Shut up Tobi! Leader! We could have sold it for a valuable price on E-bay!” Kakuzu whined. “Not that anyone would buy it,” he muttered.
“Kakuzu! I heard that!”
“That was such a waste of time!”
“But Leader did well, right?”
“Of course not!”
“He did!”
“Not!”]
“You wasted so much paper doing that!” Konan screeched.
“WHAT THE SWEET BANANNA’S[/u[? HOW COULD ONE CANDY JUTSU GO SO CAKE WRONG? I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I’M ICE-CREAM SEEING!”
...
Silence again. It always comes at the best moments. In fact, it was so suspicious that the authoress could’ve just put it there when she wanted it to be silent.
“Danna...did you say that...un?” Deidara asked fearfully. That was a side Sasori had never, ever shown before.
“Do you understand English?” Apparantly, he was still under the assumption that they were speaking Japanese.
“Y...y...yes un...”
“THEN YOU SHOULD SHERBET KNOW WHAT I’M LOLLIPOP TALKING ABOUT!” Sasori shrieked.
By this time, everyone had started, inch by inch, edging away from the puppet master who, by the looks of it, was about to go insane.
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That's chapter 5 ^^ I don't think it was really good, but I love my 'Tobi found a coconut ;]'
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Post by xX~Kinky~Xx on Jun 28, 2008 5:43:16 GMT -5
teehee
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Post by xX.dEiDaRa.Xx on Jul 6, 2008 21:55:21 GMT -5
Chapta 6
--
The day was fine and sunny. The sea had calmed down considerably since the storm, and the boat swayed gently from side to side. All in all, a perfect day.
Hatake Kakashi yawned, striding out onto the deck, accompanied by a certain raven-haired Uchiha. None other than Uchiha Sasuke. Both of them had big plans for today, but Kakashi couldn’t shake off the feeling that today was going to be the worst day in Team 7’s life.
“Kakashi. What were you going to teach me again?” The smooth cold voice of the Uchiha broke the sweet silence.
“Well, I was thinking a huge workout with Naruto and Sakura. Then when they go to lunch, I could teach you the Tracking Hound technique. How’s that?”
A scowl graced the handsome features. “With Naruto and Sakura? Is that really necessary?”
“I believe so, since I don’t think I’ve worked them hard enough ever since we’ve been on the vacation.”
Silence fell between them once again. It was weird, in a way. Uchiha Sasuke had come back to Konoha, apologizing to the Hokage, his teammates and sensei, and to the whole village. It was sudden, and Kakashi still suspected he was a spy. With what remaining dignity he had, Sasuke had been allowed to go back to Team Seven.
“Kakashi-sensei!” A yell from somewhere high above startled both of them, although only one looked genuinely surprised.
“Naruto? What are you doing up there?” Kakashi smiled back. The blonde haired boy was standing on the top deck, eyes looking towards the horizon of endless waters.
“I see an island! Can we land there and have some ramen? Please please pleeeeease? I haven’t stretched my legs in days, Dattebayo!”
“Well...I was thinking of training the ship’s gym today since-“
“Oh come oooooon, Kakashi-sensei! We could spare a day or two! It’s a two week vacation, after all. We’ll be fine! Dattebayo!”
Kakashi sighed. He had to put up with one loudmouthed ninja, although he had to admit he genuinely liked Naruto. “Fine, but we still need to get the training done.”
“Yeeeeesssssss!” Naruto yelled in triumph. “Sakura-chan! Guess what? We’re going to stop on an island! Dattebayo!”
“Really?” Sakura walked up behind Kakashi and Sasuke. “Is Sasuke-kun coming?”
“No.” The Uchiha had a sense of coldness around him.
Sakura looked slightly downhearted.
“Oh come on Sasuke, we’re going to train there and you’ll be missing out,” Naruto teased.
“Fine.” The word was said with utter loathing.
Now, let’s check how our favourite criminal organization is doing.
It was very dull for the Akatsuki, stuck on a bare island with nothing to do. Sasori had finally calmed down, and was no longer in the danger of throwing a tantrum. Deidara was nursing his broken arm, from when Sasori had thrown a tantrum. Hidan’s detached head was now floating in the water a mile away from the island, still uttering curses, while his scythe and body lay on the beach. Kakuzu was counting his money again for the 1096th time since they’ve been on the island. Kisame and Itachi were competing. It was a competition about who caught the most fish. So far, the score was 287 to 3, with Kisame in the lead. Tobi was eating coconuts...again, but this time with Konan. Everyone had learnt not to steal ‘their’ coconuts. Zetsu was making friends with the plants again and Pein was off somewhere far away, developing a jutsu that was now believed, by everyone except him, to never be able to work. Then suddenly...
Hidan’s detached head shut up, the shadow of a giant creature lurking behind him. His head turned, with difficulty, and found itself face to face with a boat. “Oi! Pick me up you lollipops! I’m having a little cookie trouble here you sherbet!”
“Did you hear something, Sasuke-kun?” Sakura asked tentatively, knowing the Uchiha was in a bad mood.
“No.”
“I HEAR IT!” yelled Naruto triumphantly, glad that he had finally beaten Sasuke at something. He looked down into the water...”A DETACHED HEAD! STILL TALKING! OMG! DATTEBAYO!”
Kakashi sighed and glanced into the water. “This time, I don’t think I can belie- OMG A TALKING HEAD!”
“What?” Sakura rushed to the side of the deck. Seeing Hidan’s head, she threw up over the side, and fainted.
“Hn?” Sasuke looked into the water, seeing Hidan’s head. Calmly, he grabbed a fishing net and scooped it out of the water.
“You candy cakes!” Hidan shrieked. “Jelly get me out of here!”
-A mile away-
“Konan-san, did you hear something?” Tobi asked innocently. The sound of yelling was floating over to them.
Konan heard it, perhaps more clearly than everyone else save Itachi, but she pretended not to. “Oh, don’t worry Tobi, it was just the wind.”
“You mean ‘it was just Hidan,’” Itachi corrected.
Konan scowled.
“Huh? Hidan? I thought we got rid of him forever now!” Kakuzu looked genuinely disappointed at not being rid of his partner.
-Back with Team 7-
“Thank you candy!” Hidan snarled.
“A...talking...head...datte...bayo,” Naruto said fearfully.
“It’s just a head,” an impatient Sasuke explained, knocking Hidan’s head with a kunai.
“You pineapple lollipop cookie! What the candy do you think I jelly am?”
“I think we should find the body and reattach it,” Sakura put in.
“TO THE ISLAND WE GO THEN! DATTEBAYO!”
-Two hours later-
“Is that...” Kisame pointed towards the horizon, where a large distinctive shape was forming.
“...a ship?” Sasori finished, looked equally surprised. He had been sure they would be trapped on this island forever.
“OMG A SHIP!! COME OVER HERE SHIP UN!! HURRY UP! I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE AND DO MY HAIR UN!! IT’S FILTHY!!” Deidara screamed at the top of his lunges, running around in a circle on the sand...again.
“A...ship...a...ship...a...ship...a...ship...MONEY!” Kakuzu yelled with delight, looking around for the ship he could see for money before realizing they didn’t have a ship any more. “d**n...OMG A SHIP!” he yelled, pointing in the direction Kisame was pointing in.
“ITS A SHIP! WE’RE GETTING RESCUED!!” Konan yelped, sprinting off to find Pein.
“What? A ship? Where? I can’t see a ship!” Itachi yelled frantically, arms flailing rapily in the water while blind Sharingan eyes looked towards the land.
Tobi blinked, watching as the ship drew closer. “Is that what a ship is, Sempai?” he asked, plucking at Deidara’s sleeve.
Deidara made a =_=" expression. “You’ve been riding on one for the last 10 days before we got to the island you idiot!”
“But...but...I thought I was riding on one of your clay birds. Tobi is a good boy. Tobi was right...right?”
Deidara ignored him, going back to screaming “WE’RE GOING TO BE SAVED!” and running around, and was promtly joined by an enthusiastic Tobi.
-Back to Team 7 and Hidan’s head-
Everyone was crowded around the head, one looking confused, one looking suspicious, one looking excited and one looking plain bored. Match them up if you can.
“I spy with my little eyes, something the size of that head with silver hair, dattebayo!” Naruto smiled at Hidan.
“My head you dumpling,” Hidan snarled.
“Yeah...now its your turn, dattebayo!”
“I spy with my ramen eyes, a coconut blonde hyperactive idiot!”
“Is it...Kakashi-sensei?"
Hidan sighed. They had been playing this game all morning. He was about to reply ‘No you muffin idiot, its you!’ but something stopped him.
“THERE ARE PEOPLE ON THE ISLAND!” Sakura shrieked, before fainting once more. Nobody bothered to catch her.
“Is that...ITACHI! I WILL KILL YOU!” Guess who...?
Itachi looked up with another fish in hand. “Sasuke? Is that you?” In his surprise, he dropped the fourth fish he had ever caught in his life. “You idiot Sasuke! You made me drop my fish!”
Sasuke raised an eyebrow and made a O.o face. Itachi? Catching fish? No way. “I WILL KILL YOU!” he repeated, jumping into the water and rapidly swimming, before realizing that the water was only knee deep.
Naruto’s eyes peered onto the island, where, sure enough, a hyperactive blonde idiot was running around in the sand. ‘Is that her?” he asked Hidan’s head, which turned around to look.
“Hmmm...grape close enough...although I was originally thinking of you.”
“Oh...Wait...Sasuke! I want to go swimming too! Dattebayo!” Naruto yelled, diving into the water, and hitting his head in the sand. “Ow...HELLO HYPERACTIVE BLONDE GIRL!” he yelled in the general direction of Deidara.
The ‘hyperactive blonde girl’ stopped in his tracks, looking suspiciously at the boat. “I AM NOT A GIRL...UN!” he yelled at them, before noticing. “OMG IT’S THE JINCHUURIKI!! CATCH HIM!”
But nobody did.
For one, Hidan’s head was tied to the mast of the ship. Itachi was busy having a shouting match with Sasuke. Kisame was seizing the chance to catch more fish and beat Itachi. Konan was off somewhere with Pein. Tobi was too stupid to notice anything. Kakuzu was hijacking the boat while no one was noticing. Zetsu was deep in the jungle, talking to the various poisonous plants. And Deidara couldn’t be bothered.
So Naruto was saved again...by a bunch of lazy and dumb criminals.
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Post by Haruke Saku _&_ Minoru Saku on Jul 8, 2008 0:42:51 GMT -5
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD love it!!!!
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